We all know that feeling, vending machine
imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers
so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off
out of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular
All my checks will…
bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.
Seagrams poppin’ in our refrigerator, $5 for 4 bottles and I save ‘em for later. I got: ramen on the left [left], pizza on the right [right], and a free month on netflix so we stay turnt up all night.
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.